I love how my nana’s chill about a boy picking me up… :) at first I was avoiding like what exactly I was doing tomorrow night but then I was just like “____’s picking me up and we gonna get dinner and he’ll bring me to Aja’s” lol. & she was like okay, just call me if you guys go somewhere else. :D
I love how they trust me! & they should, I’ve been good. & it’s not like I’m lying & I’m not doing anything bad.
I’ve been going out everrrrry weekend since the first weekend of spring break :) I think I’ma take a break next weekend. Hah. I love how I’m able to go out a lot though. Like just tell my mom I’m going out and she’s cool with it. Or just tell my nana I’m busy and have plans already :P
& I love how I’m going to new places! Like instead of the usual old cromwells, we went waimanalo, & no more boring pearls, we went bowling! & mr. Manly Man’s gonna make me his infamous french toast! & Waimea’s on Sunday with Australians! (: Yay for new experiences!
I’m pretty stoked about this weekend. Scary movie marathon and French toast with my new friend. Hopefully redbox has a lot of scary movies, haha. Then sleepover Aha’s and Waimea’s on Sunday! & a little family dinner for Rylee’s homecoming. Even though I’mma sick birdie, I’m pushin’ thru! I’m going to have a good weekend no matter what. ‘cause I want to. I’m living for tomorrow.
You win some, you lose some. Everything I’ve gone through is making me stronger.
& I’m not a big believer on that whole “fake a smile” shit. If ya’ wanna be happy, then do it. If ya’ wanna be sad, then be fuckin’ sad. I don’t know why people have to put up a front. But whatever floats your boat I guess. It ain’t my problem.
I wonder if you still have that folder on your desktop.
going back to all of it…..gosh, I thought I was done crying about this shit.
It hurts so much that you don’t even want to talk to me…..It fucking cuts an even bigger hole in my heart. That deep pain that will just never go away. It feels like it’s a big rock in my stomach. Ugh.
So yesterday was really fun. I was supposed to go out with MeganD, Neenah, Kameron, & Jaylord but shit happened and it ended up being only Jaylord & I so we texted Aja, met up at Target, talked, chilled. Walked to the Baseball fields, lol….no baseball players. So we sat in Radford and waited, figuring out what to do. Talked story, Paul came, decided on finally going bowling.
It was fun! I embarrassed the shit outta myself but it was fun. I actually almost beat Paul one time. Lol. & each of us at least got one strike :D & at least one gutter….in Jaylord & I’s case more than a lot of gutters. Haha.
It really annoys me when you say you’re “alone.” How do you think that makes the people that are there for you feel? Like we don’t matter? Shit. You’re supposed to be my bestfriend. Now I know it’s….hard but I’m trying at least! It’s not my fault you won’t let me in.
So tonight’s date went pretty well, his car smells soooo0o0oo00 good and it’s so clean! I’m impressed. We watched lame movie but it was nice, we just laughed at it. & I jumped at the end omg hahaha. It was nice to watch a movie and not do…anything. I had a nice night, I definitely wanna do this again :)
I don’t know why I act like I’m okay with what you did. You’re a fake ass bitch and that’s what you should be treated as. I really don’t know why I just forgave and was like whatever. The more I think about it, the more I wanna fuck your fake ass up. & trust, I got plenty people that want to with me.